Turning Towards Darkness
by Shadow of the God Tree
Summary: Inuyasha Has no idea what he is doing to Kagome: the Shikon jewelk feeds off dark emotions, what if the jewel had lost it's souls long ago. * Vote for Pairings!!! Kag/Sess Kag/ Inu Kag/ Naraku
1. Cold From Within

Listen as the wind blows  
  
from across the great divide,  
  
Voices trapped in yearning,  
  
memories trapped in time,  
  
The night is my companion  
  
and solitude my guide,  
  
Would I spend forever here  
  
and not be satisfied,  
  
And I would be the one  
  
to hold you down,  
  
kiss you so hard,  
  
I'll take your breath away  
  
and after I'd wipe away the tears,  
  
Just close your eyes dear  
  
Through this world I've stumbled  
  
so many times betrayed,  
  
Trying to find an honest word,  
  
to find the truth enslaved,  
  
Oh you speak to me in riddles and  
  
you speak to me in rhymes  
  
My body aches to breathe your breath,  
  
you words keep me alive,  
  
And I would be the one  
  
to hold you down,  
  
kiss you so hard,  
  
I'll take your breath away  
  
and after I'd wipe away the tears,  
  
Just close your eyes dear  
  
Into this night I wander,  
  
it's morning that I dread,  
  
Another day of knowing of  
  
the path I fear to tread,  
  
Oh into the sea of waking dreams  
  
I follow without pride,  
  
Nothing stands between us here  
  
and I won't be denied,  
  
And I would be the one  
  
to hold you down,  
  
kiss you so hard,  
  
I'll take your breath away  
  
and after I'd wipe away the tears,  
  
Just close your eyes dear...  
  
Song: Possession By Sarah McLachlan  
  
I can feel it. It makes me feel so cold. I feel as my heart slowly looses it's feelings and I am forced to create the illusion that everything is all right. I am slowly yet surely changing I do not know what yet but I am. I am turning into something to be feared.  
  
Demons love to drink human blood and the blood of a virgin priestess is among the most prized. The one that no youkai has ever tasted is the blood of a miko, virgin or other, given freely. When one would taste my blood it is filled with a worldly taint that is slowly turning my blood to a cold darkness.  
  
Sometimes I feel as though I knew what Kikyo felt when she was the barer of the Shikon no Tama. But yet I can't help but notice that there was a distinction in our relationship to the Jewel.  
  
I have felt the jewel and I realized a long time ago that the four spirits trapped inside had departed when Kikyo had been burned and released all that is left of the fabled jewel of four souls is the magic. Magic that has accumulated from the hands of its bearers and of the users.  
  
It has gained much knowledge and power, as the search for the shattered pieces slowly becomes a race to see who can gather more first Naraku or us.  
  
I once thought fleetingly yet constantly that I did not belong in the world in which I live. Now with the change of times, going from the present to the past it has changed. Going through the well used to be a pleasant experience, yet now it is as though I enter the true meaning of peace when I leave the future. The trip that leads me back is as though razors are running me through. Destroyed from the inside out, leaving that, which is where I truly belong.  
  
I have to wonder what is it that senses my desire to forever stay in the Sengoku Jidai. I have long ago seen the look in my mother's eyes. She has the look of knowing and longing. She longs for me to stay each time I go through the well but she also knows what I feel, and she would never take my happiness away from me.  
  
Am I selfish to want to stay in one place that I was not born in? Is it foolish to hope for the dream of forever remaining? I cry a thousand tears and shed a thousand skins, all that remains are questions with no answers.  
  
Is it the fact that I was pulled into the well when my powers were slowly awakening on my fourteenth birthday? Was it coincidence that I left the modern day to come to this world? Am I destined to forever walk the land, alone and in pain because the darkness inside is slowly taking over?  
  
Damn you Naraku you are the one to do this. You know the secret of Miko's. The closely guarded secret that has never before been discovered protected for centuries beyond knowing. I am becoming such and there is no stop for the terrible plunge into the icy cold that my heart has taken. You will feel the wrath of this Miko when I transform. I am the strongest that has come and no other will ever be like me again.  
  
Why Inuyasha? Why did you turn your back to me? I love you. But it is never good enough. Never enough to give all when all they want is to bed you. As all males are want to do. I am nothing but a bitch and he reminds me of it constantly. I know what it is he craves. Soon I will be what it is that he wants. Then I will be the one to wipe away his tears.  
  
Their he goes once more. His scent gives him away and his companion that smells of clay and bones. Soon Inuyasha I will be different from what you never new.  
  
You break and shatter my heart anew and soon all that will be left is the shell, the shell of what I once was. Are you that stupid Inuyasha? Don't you see the look in my eyes when you go? Do you ignore the fact that I love you or do you truly fear what I offer?  
  
"Inuyasha." My voice was only a breathless whisper, a breathy pant that spoke of unspoken desires and heart wrenching pain.  
  
In my heart I speak to myself. Do you here me Inuyasha, as you make love the body that houses half of my soul? Did you not know Inuyasha that her soul can never return? The four souls of the jewel took her with them when they left. You make love to the corpse that is the body of her but she has my soul.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
This is my new story. For those who like my story The World Through a Fox's Eyes I will be updating soon no fears.  
  
Shade~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. Hollow Existance

I updated!!!!!!!!! I am so happy. Must be the sugar high. Anyway I was talking to my friend and we were both really depressed about the lack of adequate specimens of the male species. The phrase  
  
"There are always more fish in the sea."  
  
Came to mind. I thought it over and I gave my friend a comeback she could not refute  
  
"The sea happens to be all dried up."  
  
The words of wisdom of the day!!!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The hanyou was in a tree not to far off from the clearing that Kagome was. He never trusted her to stay out of trouble for even a few minutes. He felt the whispered words in the wind and following instinct went back to the girl that had stolen his heart and now threatened to take his mind.  
  
With a sniff and a startled yelp from the hanyou he realized his half brother was around. With impending terror he sped to where Kagome should be. When he reached their clearing he saw that she had her bow raised at his brother. Sesshomaru's poison was dripping from his claws with obvious intent.  
  
"Sesshomaru get away from her!"  
  
"Why if it isn't my half brother Inuyasha."  
  
"Leave her alone Sesshomaru!" said Inuyasha pulling the tetsusaiga from its sheath.  
  
Heading the command in Inuyasha's eyes Kagome stepped back from the sidelines and sat herself on a flat rock that was now cold from the chilly night air.  
  
With Kagome out of the way Inuyasha leapt sword first poised to slice the enemy before him.  
  
Kagome watched the battle and felt a perverse delight in the blood spilled. Without realizing it her aura sprang around her a dark midnight blue highlighting her hair, turning it a black that soaked up the light around it make her face a haze of shadows. Blue orbs glowed into the night the blackness in them eating away at the purity within the miko with every splash of blood.  
  
The hunger in her rose, the hunger of lust and the hunger of blood, changing her in ways that no miko has before. Her teeth sharpened to fangs, her ears became pointed. The smells and the sounds of battle became clearer more acute and that drove her transformation faster, more furious.  
  
The two brothers turned at the smell that is irresistible to male youkai. The smell of a female in heat, a powerful one. Thoughts of vengeance on each other but now they focused on the smell the blood that dripped down the wrist of the female. A mating call a sign of submission.  
  
With the end of the battle the features of the youkai became more human but the bloodlust remained. As the smell of female demon reduced both brothers came back to their senses.  
  
With agreement grudgingly concluded they both walked away form each other.  
  
"Do you enjoy fucking a corpse Inuyasha?"  
  
Inuyasha's head shot up at the challenging tone that was used by the female, it held the tone of the darkest night and the brightest day, giving and taking, submissive and challenging.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"What's the matter Inuyasha? Don't you wish to admit to the world that you are fucking corpse? Or is it I underestimated you and you know that you fuck a body that has my soul?"  
  
"What the hell are you talking about Kagome?"  
  
"Why Inuyasha did you not know her soul was trapped with the rest inside the Shikon no Tama, her soul departed with the rest when they left this plane."  
  
"How would you know?"  
  
"Didn't you know that you were fucking me? Her body retained enough emotions that she is able to use my body as a puppet would."  
  
"You fucking lie Bitch!"  
  
"Soon Inuyasha I will no longer be a reminder of her and I will reclaim my soul! I will not look like her anymore for the corruption the spreads with each shard we collect each shard that must once again be purified. Do you wish to see me then? The power you felt tonight was noting but an illusion to what real power I have. Do you not see Inuyasha I am much more than any before me."  
  
"Go home wench! I have no more need of you!"  
  
"The well is gone Inuyasha." Kagome's voice went down to what it was before they were charged with power. Her voice sounded like that of a normal human.  
  
With that Kagome went to her sleeping bag and curled up, falling asleep but to Inuyasha's unease from the tree above a single salty tear fell down her face, seeming a promise of more to come.  
  
The next morning the sun shown bright and cheery, a complete contradiction to the feelings that plagued me. Surprisingly he was still asleep in his tree, I looked at the sun. I used to love it embrace the warmth that it gave me during the day and fear the night with the shadows that lurked the demons that hunted us.  
  
Now I look to the moon for it's cold comfort, I look to the shadows to keep the mask on me. When did the night become day and day become night? When did I come to fear the sunlight that makes things grow so beautifully? When did the sun on my face grant me more fear than death?  
  
Is it you Naraku that changed me so much, that I am no longer who I once was? Did you achieve your goal? I feel it sleeping inside of me, such seductive power it holds over me. Do your realize how much I fight myself. With each breath I absorb more of your evil, more of your power. With every breath I fight to purify the evil that is in my body. But I see now that it is a loosing battle. The next time the blood of and enemy or friend is spilled in anger there will be no turning back.  
  
I wish for the life I once had, in times of weakness. I know it is wrong to drown in self-pity. This life is not what I imagined when I first new what life's hardships were. Even with the knowledge that I had then I had no idea I would become this. I am something else. I am different. I am neither youkai nor human, miko but other. I am not what I used to be. I left the youthful innocence that is born inside me die like a flickering flame in a gale. It has been snuffed out so that I no longer look at things the same as I once did.  
  
Is it fate that I came here? Is it destiny that I remain cold on the inside while I make all those around happy. Is there anyone out there that can fill the emptiness that is in my soul? I yearn for what I cannot have and yet I pull away from all it could mean. The whole in my soul is much like the whole in Miroku's hand, it will one day consume me in its agony.  
  
Who can heal this Pain?  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hi people this seems to be my weekend for updating! Please keep the votes coming I am so inspired for either pairing and some of you are all so convincing that I seem unable to choose. So please if you would be so kind as to continue I would be much obliged.  
  
Shade~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
